I Cant Afford To Shop With My Wallet, So I Shop With My Eyes

“Should I checkout?”

A question that pops into my head almost every night. And the answer is always the same: NO.

I have a habit of window shopping, more often than I probably should. Not the kind where you stroll through malls with your friends, but the digital version: scrolling through my phone, in the middle of the night, when I can’t sleep.

I treat online stores like Pinterest. Zooming in on bags I clearly can’t afford. Imagining pretty shoes paired with outfits I don’t even own. Reading reviews of things I know I’ll never buy. It feels like shopping... just without actually buying anything. Not because I have some incredible self-control. But simply because I can’t afford it.

This habit started back in university, when I was still living on a tight budget. Scrolling through e-commerce apps became a bedtime routine, part boredom, part entertainment, maybe even a bit of escapism. Even now that I’m working and earning, my cart is still always full... but the items never get paid for.

There’s something oddly comforting about “Add To Cart” with no real intention of checking out. Like it sends a safe signal to myself: “Save it for later.” Even if deep down, I know “later” might never come. I used to feel guilty about it at first, like I was feeding a consumerist habit, even if I wasn’t spending money. But over time, I realised this was just my way of coping.

Everyone escapes in different ways. Some people shop to feel in control. Some binge-watch series. Me? I look at things I can’t afford, just to feel something. It gives me a tiny spark of joy without the risk of blowing my wallet, and that's when I realise I didn’t actually want the item. I just liked imagining a version of myself who could own all of it.

Strangely enough, this habit helped me figure out what I really want. I began to notice which items stayed in my wishlist for months. Those were the ones I took a closer look at, figuring out which I didn’t really want, and which ones might just be worth saving up for. I even started a “dream fund” on my finance app, just in case one day I can afford them. Even if I’m not actually buying anything, I’ve learned more about my taste, my triggers, and my financial limits. And for now, that’s enough.

Shopping with my eyes has taught me that there’s nothing wrong with wanting things. What’s dangerous is rushing to buy without thinking. Maybe the answer isn’t strict self-denial, but patience, and being picky about what truly matters. And if that means my cart stays full while my wallet stays safe, then honestly, I’m fine with that.

So... should I stop scrolling tonight?

Or... just one more round?



This article is part of TSS Confessions, a weekly column where we delve into personal finance topics that are unscripted and genuine real accounts from people.