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I Learned A Valuable Lesson When My Friends Didn’t Pay Me Back After A Meal

​Have you ever felt uncomfortable around your friends because of money? If you have, well, it happened to me too.It all started when we were out for dinner. As soon as the bill arrived, everyone went silent. I felt bad for the staff who was standing there waiting, so I pulled out my credit card and said, “I’llpay first. Just transfer me your sharelater”. They all nodded, agreeing to pay me back soon.But ‘later’ never came.At first, I wasn’t too worried. Maybe they just forgot. But after a few days, I sent a casual message in our group chat as a gentle reminder: “Hey guys, here’s the split for the bill! Just transfer me when you can”. Some of them sent the money right away, but two people just reacted with a thumbs-up emoji, and that was it.Days went by, and they still hadn’t paid.I waited patiently, but weeks passed, and there was still no response, no transfer, nothing. Meanwhile, I saw them posting their new outfits, weekend getaways, and fancy coffee on Instagram. Clearly, money wasn’t the issue. So why weren’t they paying me back?I thought about reminding them again, but it felt awkward. Would I look stingy over a couple of dollars? Would they think I was overreacting? Every time we hung out after that, I kept hoping they’d remember on their own. But they never did. And I was too uncomfortable to bring it up.At this point, it wasn’t even about the money anymore, it was about their attitude. The fact that they could so easily ‘forget’ about it made me wonder, did they even plan to pay me back at all?In the end, I learned a valuable lesson. Never offer to pay for certain friends unless you’re completely okay with never seeing that money again. If someone "forgets" to pay you back once, chances are, they’ll forget again.And most importantly, generosity should go both ways. If you’re always the one paying, maybe it’s time to ask yourself 'why?'This article is part of TSS Confessions, a weekly column where we delve into personal finance topics that are unscripted and genuine real accounts from people.

07 Apr 2025
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